I just made a whole slew of txns with 3 cents fees and none of them have confirmed yet. SegshellCoin, y u so fail? 

That just shows that you does not value the importance of your own transactions as much as other people who transact at the same time period. I know, free will is hard.
It is not "the fault of the free, voluntary, opt-in" network's, you, Yourself valued the importance of these value transfers this low.
Welcome to the free market, where value is subjective, and there is no free lunch. None forcing you to use this system, go do paypal if you want speed. Of course, than you have to sacrifice control and freedom, but you do not want to pay the price for them, which is Your problem, not the bitcoin network's.




